Category Archives: Uncategorized

There comes a time, when you become opaque. Absolutely opaque. People cannot see through you. If and only if you speak, will you be predictable. The ball stays in your own court then. You can steer your life the way you want it to move.  There comes a time, when you care less about showingContinue reading “Rant 173 : Transparency Zero %”

As the late night dawned, I lay on my bed looking outside the balcony. It was 1:45 am and the fog had slowly started to take over. In a distant view, a faint night canteen was open. I was trying hard to sleep, but it was taking, like ages to happen. I again unlocked myContinue reading “Rant 172 : What are you reacting to?”

25 minutes.13 km to cover. I was driving fast. Very fast. It was chilling cold. 8 degrees cold and I had rushed out of my house on a scooter without a pair of gloves. While I could feel my hands getting cold and numb, somehow the thought of them getting cold did not come toContinue reading “Rant 171 : The text at 0419 hours”

Yes people do move on. They have to. Most of the times, they do not have an option but to move on. But moving on does not always mean  you’re healed. Or you’re afresh with better inspiration and more life. Never. Not at all. Most cases it leaves an irreplaceable mark in your head andContinue reading “Rant 169 : The vortex of the lost”

Why can’t we simply get over people? Shouldn’t it be a months or at the maximum a couple of months to get over someone? Why is it that people keep lingering over the person for months, some for years and songs forever? There are two reasons to it, that I can ascertain – firstly, it’sContinue reading “Rant 167 : The puddle of memories”

“Ey, what is this big thing here?” “What, this?” “Yes! This looks like a silo, grain silo. Where did you get this from? And this is plastic sack, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is my dustbin. I keep this so that I can keep the waste inside my house and then settle it out once andContinue reading “Rant 166 : The Leachate”

“Hello, stop. Stop, Please. Stop stop.”, I stopped the car driver. Stopped my two wheeler at the side of the road and went upto him. It took me a chase of around 2-3 kms to make this guy stop.  “Yes, what’s your problem, why are you following us?”, he asked furiously while his family inContinue reading “Rant 165 : They just wont dispose!”

“Sir, OTP?” “Yea, 8765”, I settled myself while the driver fed in the otp.  “Sir, drop sir?” “Townhall. Gate A.” “Okay sir” The cab started. I was about to meet this lady for possibly the one last time. We’d been such good friends for such a long time. Gosh! Lower KG to now. 20 years.Continue reading “Rant 164 : Thanks for dropping me home”

“Sir, how much?”. The diesel bunk staff asked.  “2500 rupees”, I handed him my card for payment and opened up the fuel tank.  The fuel indicator showed close to full. How easy was it to refill a tank, pay and refill. I wish refilling emotions was this easy too. Refilling zeal, ambition, positivity. I wouldContinue reading “Rant 163: Sublimation”

Do you see a window around? What do you want to do? Open it – or Close it?  Your answer would probably be, that you would chose to decide on the basis of how the weather is, the level of privacy you want or the lighting conditions you require. Window, though it has a positiveContinue reading “Rant 161 : I failed and I love it!”

“Why did not just not tell him. You should’ve spoken to him right then and there. Man! Enough is enough!”, I blasted on her, literally! It was the 4th time Manav had abused her and I could not just take it.  “I don’t know why, but I froze, I couldn’t just speak. I kinda chokedContinue reading “Rant 160 : How much is enough?”

“No! Not at all!“ he shouted.  “No, no,no. I am going to watch cartoons tonight. I have planned it all. I aint coming out with you all!”, I replied.  “Bro, you’re seriously gonna watch childhood cartoons now? And that too you’re saying you’re gonna watch it through the day! How sick!”, he rebuked me forContinue reading “Rant 159 : Solace through cartoons”

This is part-2 of my conversation with a suicide-prevention specialist. To read the first part, click the below link.  Rant 158 : Core of suicides, from an expert himself – 1 https://the11oclockdiary.home.blog/2020/01/01/rant-158-core-of-suicides-from-an-expert-himself-1/ “So how do you usually talk to these vulnerable people, I mean what is your basic approach – to help them focus onContinue reading “Rant 158 : Core of suicides, from an expert himself – 2”

“Excuse me son”, a man probably in his late 40’s asked me.  “I am trying to download an app, but the play store keeps saying download pending. I need to download it before reaching Delhi for my cab. Can you help?”, he had some issues with the app downloading. I took his phone.  I clearedContinue reading “Rant 157 : Core of suicides, from an expert himself – 1”

It was the first of January in some distant past I remember. We were all ready with the firecrackers and all equipment for the celebration ready in hand. There was a buzz in the colony. Our block had 5 houses and 4 out of the 5  were on the road with family. Everyone. Every singleContinue reading “Rant 156 : The old sane man”

I was on a treatment schedule. A period of a couple of weeks and some prescription. I was asked to see things I loved, talk to people whom I cared about. I have never made such a tight schedule trip before, but I was out this time. Had a wonderful 2 weeks! Revisited the mostContinue reading “Rant 155 : In love with the medicine”

“I am sorry, please come back. I promise won’t happen. Never again”, he cried while he spoke. His coarse, heavy and choking voice broke her heart. She wanted to speak, but she did not know what to say. He’d never been that rude before but that day, he just crossed all limits, she did notContinue reading “Rant 154 : The ugly cob-web”

“Why don’t you just sleep. It’s 3 am already. You will get yourself a day of headache again if you keep doing this” “I know, but I just don’t feel like sleeping. I feel fresh.” “But, you haven’t slept in the last 27 hours. Don’t joke around with your body. Go sleep.” “Are.. but..” “No!Continue reading “Rant 153 : One+oNE = ONE”

Ever waited for someone to come and hold you and take you to your destination somewhere? Felt anguished at no one coming to help you out when you’re in trouble? Felt the pain about the fact that you helped so many but no one is apparently there to help you? Welcome to the world ofContinue reading “Rant 152 : Hitch-hiking through life.”

Ever heard of a term ‘rehabilitation’? Or commonly known as a rehab? What does it do? Provides an environment where you can let go an addiction and the environment or the facilities around will help you prevent going back to it again and again. Over some time, your mind will be less and less demandingContinue reading “Rant 151 : The addiction chronicles”

While I am travelling, many people often ask me if I was a tourist or a traveller. I avoid myself being labelled a tourist. I really believe I am more of a traveler than a tourist. Most people and friends do not understand the difference between the two. If I was asked, these two areContinue reading “Rant 150 : Traveler or a tourist?”

What do you think is a place?  What do you feel like when you are in a different town? A town you’ve never ever been to before. A place where you probably will not come ever after. A place with just a one time visit. A visit for something special. To take away memories whichContinue reading “Rant 148 : Sense of a “Place””

What if you could make sugar out of your blood? Would you still dissolve and watch it becoming nonexistent infront of you? How does it feel to see something getting lost right in front of you? Like right there. Just there. Yes. Feel nothing? Happy ? sad? Lost?I today came across a wonderful memory whichContinue reading “Rant 147 : Sugar and water”

Life is not a lift. I wish it was. Standing in the front row of the lift, it is usually very easy to hide what you feel, from the people at your back. Concealing without coming pushing yourself back. Hiding and yet staying ahead and still no one knows whats wrong with you. Days likeContinue reading “Rant 146 : Life & the Lift”

Somedays all you want is a glance of the history, a peek into the past. We all do feel a little uneasy when it comes to those memories which went off, not in a proper way – without a formal closure. With questions unanswered, with emotions choking in the throat and with a lot ofContinue reading “Rant 143 : The quick snip”

The desperation to be heard? No one’s listening?? Do you ever feel like approaching someone and speaking your heart out to them. There are always a few humans who will be eager to hear you out, come what may. But more often than not, it is not just speaking your things out to someone.Often, youContinue reading “Rant 142 : Talk out your heart?”

“So, 3 lessons for today – First, keep the strokes in one direction, second color from top to bottom and third, don’t cross the line”, Shankar Sir announced in class. It was the first class of my art school. It did not look like the typical art school my friends were going into. It wasContinue reading “Rant 141 : Art Class – Shankar Sir’s lessons”

“Are you in a doubt? I guess you must see an expert in your field. Get your doubt cleared.” My professor gave me a number and asked to talk to this lady who had been an expert in Infrastructure development across South Asian countries. I took the card and thanked my professor and came out.Continue reading “Rant 140 : Have a doubt?”

This is a continuation of the previous Rant 137 : The broken door, the link is as below,  https://the11oclockdiary.home.blog/2019/12/09/rant-137-the-broken-door/ Moving ahead..  I pushed the door with a light push and a lot of nervousness. I had to push it upwards while also pushing it in the front direction. Carefully and slowly, the door began toContinue reading “Rant 138 : The broken door – 2”

Think of it. You walked 7 km in order to reach there. You are shit tired. Sweating like a river pump. Thirsty. Your feet seems to have swollen in your shoes. You are afraid to take your feet out before your journey is over. Maybe it has got some sores too. You never know. YouContinue reading “Rant 137 : The broken door”

It is a continuation of Rant 133 : What if? – 2 . Read it at the below link : https://the11oclockdiary.home.blog/2019/12/05/rant-133-what-if-2/ Finally, it was time. It was a day and a half since Amit had left and his few things stayed back with me. I know he left them on purpose. I will keep them. IContinue reading “Rant 134 : What if? – 3”

“No, please keep quiet. It was never about that”, I told. “Will you even listen to me once, I am trying to explain myself to you!”, he would not stop speaking unless I really intervened.   “See, look! Here! Its not going to work. Believe me. This is not something I am angry or madContinue reading “Rant 132 : What if?”

“You are seriously crazy. How do you even maintain your cool knowing we have just a few hours before things close down. Like the semester closes down in less than 12 hours now, you say you have no work and still such carelessness?”, my batch mate questioned. I know its weird. But I strictly believeContinue reading “Rant 130 : When the mask works!”

How do you usually console a person who has broken down right in front of you? Talk to them? Console them by words? Never do that. NEVER. When a person breaks down it is usually the limit of the emotional restraint that she or he has reached and could not practice restraint any further. InContinue reading “Rant 129 : The wonder of the warm palm”

Black. Black is associated with power, fear, mystery, strength, authority, formality, death, evil, and aggression, authority and rebellion. This is what we all believe, don’t we? But these are the definitions of the impractical men and women. Those who have assumed black to be the evil and the rest to be the good or non-evilContinue reading “Rant 128 : Make me a 100% black”

Though I hate generalizing or forming opinions about a group or a type of people, but I prefer to keep those things in my mind as a support tool for my personal “future” decision making situations.  One such observation has been regarding people, who deem it easy and “okay” to completely forget, cut-off their history Continue reading “Rant 125 : SHIFT + Delete”

Of the 24 hours we have in a day in our lives, we have most of woken up hours among people in some form or the other. Maybe in groups while meals, while working, while in a class or maybe just in the house. We are surrounding by one or more people most of theContinue reading “Rant 124 : Read between the smiles”

“Stop it now, will you?”, she shouted in front of everyone.  “You are crazy and you are just going to hurt me more. So please shut up and get lost from here. Please”, I was still unable to comprehend what just happened.  Sometimes, things don’t go the way we plan them to be.  Sometimes, thingsContinue reading “Rant 123: The Negative”

“So, you climb these steps everyday and visit that rock, really? Everyday?”, I asked hesitatingly. “Yes, it’s been 4 years now. I started when I had just shifted to Badami.”, Sriramalu replied. When I met him I had no clue that this simple looking guy, yes, he will probably be the most average looking guysContinue reading “Rant 120 : The eternal mirage”

“If it has to happen, it will happen” I saw this written in an advertisement I saw in today’s newspaper. Such an easy going, cute line. Makes you feel like a fool for having killed so many days in pain and whine, so many nights in tears and so much of the happiness that youContinue reading “Rant 118 :”…happen, …happen””

November winters. South facing balconies. Sweet sunny day.  I look at the clock. 10:53 am. Breakfast? Missed. Lunch? 97 minutes to go. Argh! I pull on the quilt and take a dive again in the bed. After trying to reorient and fake a day-sleep, I woke up again 6 minutes later at 10:59 am. IContinue reading “Rant 117: Welcome winters!”

Assume you are a person, a working professional with an annual salary of, let’s say, 12 lakhs. Take a hypothetical situation where in your work-life balance is pretty stabilised and you have a good family background too – both socially and economically. Also, you have a sound health and good personality that increases your chancesContinue reading “Rant 115: De-throning.”