“Hey, listen it wasn’t my fault, you’re clearly misunderstanding me.”
“No, I am done with all this crap, you said what you had to say”, she blasted him on his face.
His fingers nerved, he typed his reply rather hastily, “Listen, I can explain this to you, It was not what you thought it meant. Dude!”
“Listen to me once!!”
….
Thousands of stories end this way, daily. What do you do when someone misunderstands, misquotes, misdirects or mislead you? Do you quit? Or try explaining? If you wish to explain, for how long? Numerous times? 1,10,100? Is that not akin to demeaning your self respect? What happens, if your desire to stay afloat is taken as your weakness? Do you need people who exploit and feed on you? Certainly not. But then, that want to try and approach one more time is perennial. Our mind and heart always taunts us to go and try one last time, believing that the impossible might well happen.
The greed to Utopian connections and the happiest world is intense and it kind of kills you and your confidence. So it is important, we know a limit, we draw it correctly and abide by it. I have made my own line of actual control (LAC).
One – Approach with apology
Just after the fiasco takes place, be modest and approach with an apology, that even if you did not mean it in the first place, if it at all hurt someone, you apologize. After all, hurting anyone – even unknowingly is not pleasant.
Two – Approach with a fresh mind – 1
Your apology probably did not work, there can be two probabilities – that you’re not to be forgiven now ever or maybe they don’t want to talk about it anymore or they want to simply get over that event to the regular normal they are with you. So take the “two” hit once and genuinely. If it works, it works, if not…
Three – Approach with a fresh mind -2
Chances are that in “two” they didn’t want to talk about that event anymore. So this is a confirmation step. If the gush of fresh conversation, still doesn’t create any change in the person infront, my friend – it is time to call the cattle back home. Realise that it doesn’t seem to work anymore and that the person infront is really not interested anymore and you have done enough to create a spark of conversation between you two.
Move over the guilt and go to the next stop. Zero – rest. Pat your back that you did your best to call in twice and that it was probably not going to spark from your end possibly. If at all, there exist a symphony, the person in front will come back for a conversation – maybe One, Two or a Three.
I have tried this several times myself and most genuine people workout at Step Two, while some disgruntled people come back to regular at Step Three. I call upon zero realizing that it was all that I could do and nothing more from my end can bring the regular back. Life has to go on. We have to go on, I need to go on.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada.
The 11 o' clock diary 