It was the third jury this semester and we were heading back to our rooms before we could just fall down and sleep. We were peddling our cycles at an unusually slow pace , fixing our heads on the front wheels of the cycles, with the shirt sleeves (which were decently tied full till now) folded upto the elbow. This was really tiring but thankfully it’s over. A full 10-15 days of concentrated effort had gone into this and here we were. 5 guys cycling over a silent road at 7 pm in the evening at a slow pace.
“Lets go out tonight?”
“Yea. Need to unload my mental shit tonight.”
All but myself, agreed for the same.
“Guys, I need some 3-4 hours for some pre-planned work. I wont be able to join tonight, can we make it tomorrow? It’s a Saturday tomorrow and there will be a happy hour too! We can barge in tomorrow. What do you guys say? Moreover, let’s just rest tonight”, I said.
People did not want to agree to it, but after a few seconds of silence, everyone let out a hmm.
I entered my room, kept the notebook at its place, shut down the windows, switched on the red zero bulb and took out my red headphone. Dark, silent and cold room. With a tinge of red. Noise cancelling headphones and good songs on the playlist. What better way to let off a half-month stress? I lay down back on my bed, with both the legs hanging down and not touching the floor. Hands spread wide and a soft quilt by my neck.
We all love companies of great people, friends and loved ones. Well, most of us do! But often, we do realise the need to just be on our own. Individual. For some time. Alone, in our own world. There are problems, we cannot share or deal with the help of others. There are issues we are better poised to solve ourselves than to involve others. There are celebrations we deserve to feast on, alone – not with others. Celebrating with your own self is important.
If I was to make rules for individuals, it must become essential for a person to know how to enjoy and celebrate with themselves. Dancing alone, singing alone and for yourself, cracking a joke to yourself and then cracking up on it. These are actions that will put you on a mode of self-romancing, a stage where there is nothing but pleasure and happiness. If you are finding it so difficult to love yourself, do not expect others to love you either.
Be ready to dance alone in a room. Never miss an opportunity to sing loud the songs you love in a park or on a terrace. Be eager to treat yourself randomly some day and go beyond the budget to treat your inner person. Spend more than you would on a very dear friend. Raise a toast to your self and set that inner human happy. It is far more important to keep that person inside you content than any other earthly commitments. Life is not what is, life is what you make of it. What you feel from within, you will make the same with your life.
Life is not always bless and bloom. There will be darker days. Let your eyes loose out the burden of your inner self when they are loaded with sorrow or grief. Make some space for the inner self to unpack that fist in angst when there is much pressure inside.
Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Everything and everyone comes after yourself. You have to be the best friend you have ever got, the most critical observer, the most amicable fan, the most romantic lover. Once you treat yourself right, you will set on a path to treat everyone and everything appropriately.
Learn to live. Learn to have a date with yourself.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada.
The 11 o' clock diary 