“..and then, when you grow that old, you will realise that you are no one and have zero control over anything around you. Whatever and however things run and happen, they all happen in their own way.”
We sat around the dining and gazed at her 69 year old face. We were meeting her after a long time and she was suffering a mild dementia and was diagnosed with a level 3 Alzheimer’s. It was difficult to imagine our childhood teacher who was endowed with impeccable memory and empathy for kids at school, would one day be surrounded by post-its on her wall and a maid who would caress her and take care of her needs. Whatever she said, was not just a patients quote, but the wholesome truth of life which she wanted to transfer to us.
We left her home after another couple of hours at her place. As I rode back home, those words echoed in my head.
“..you will realise that you are no one and have zero control over anything around you.”
This was way too deeper than what I had thought of it when I heard it for the first time. But isn’t this universal? People my age will rarely understand the rationale even if they identify it. When I kept thinking over this, I could locate all instances of my life where I thought I was the one on the steering wheel. Turns out, we are never there. Infact, life is not a car with you as the driver. Life instead, is an autonomous eV car with the central controls with some completely anonymous self, whose whereabouts are not known or seldom known.
Just realising this, is life changing in itself. Imagine not taking any amount of toll on yourself for anything that happens around. Just living each day with utmost sincerity and doing whatever is meant to be done without all the worries that accompany. Because the truth is, you cannot owe success or failure for anything that happens around you. It might take a life for someone to understand that they are just travelers in this life and nothing around them is meant to be controlled.
This is creepy and satisfying to think, both at the same time.
Always Ranting,
Rantzaada.
The 11 o' clock diary 