There comes a time, when you become opaque. Absolutely opaque. People cannot see through you. If and only if you speak, will you be predictable. The ball stays in your own court then. You can steer your life the way you want it to move.
There comes a time, when you care less about showing up your emotions, because you realise no one is going to value your feelings as much as you will. Most of them will mock it in front of you, some will seem empathetic and mock it behind your back and a few handful ones, will actually care to listen and not judge you. Unfortunately, those will be really really “few” and most probably they listen, because they themselves would be in some great shit – right then or maybe sometime before. The only ones who realise how deep this shit of silence is, are the ones who fell into it.
It is true that one must never shy away from talking or finding someone to hear it out. On the other hand, we must always be eager to lend an ear to someone who is troubled – from outside or within. At times, just listening to someone may initiate the process of healing in them. A very rampant phenomenon that takes place in larger joint families and larger cohesive communities, a reason why chances of being mentally stressed or depressed is much lower in such environment than staying in an isolated environment.
I do not consider introvert-ism as a born trait. You cannot be a born extrovert or an introvert. Everything has to have a history. A chain of events which forced you or shaped you to become what you are. I strongly believe every human craves for attention, craves to be touched – emotionally, socially and physically. A human touch, a human hug, a human closeness, a conversation, an action of caressing, a silent companionship by the sunset and so many other things, they are universally considered as the healing elements. How can a human be a born solitudinarian?
“I have opened up with you, like I haven’t with anyone else till now. I don’t know what makes me so comfortable with you. Maybe it is the fact that we are not knotted to stay forever and I believe in you”, she said, hands in hands, while we sat on the evening bench.
“It’s a new experience for me to hear something like this, from a girl like you”, I blushed while I tightened our hand’s grip.
“You know what?”
“What?”, I asked.
“I wish I always had someone who was not a superficial friend, someone who would listen to me when I wanted to speak, who would scold me when I made a mistake, who would be around when I was tired and exhausted,” She spoke while her eyes sought something in the starry sky.
“Yea I know and you know the best thing about it? I am right here!”, We both smiled. Neither of us looking at the other.
I realised that day, no one is opaque. Never. People turn opaque. Not everyone can gel in with everyone else. Some people prefer special companies, while others seek a generalist companionship. It is extremely important for a person who is in a close relation with an opaque person to caress and pay attention to the small details and provide as much comfort and trust as possible and once this happens, believe me the brittle glass will flow like water and the most opaque surface will turn transparent.
But if you are the one who senses opaqueness in one’s behaviour, relax. There will be someone who will turn up and generate that small adn comfortable niche for you to fall upon. Till then, steer your life in your own style.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada..
The 11 o' clock diary 