“I really want you to understand this, you are seriously going to hurt your this quarter’s employee performance if you carry on with this attitude of yours. You were on top of our employee cards and suddenly this fall. I cannot ascertain the reason behind this. Its really crazy to see you falling down this way.
We really need an explanation from you Praveen. I am issuing a show cause notice to you. Please respond to the company within 7 days or the board will have to decide on your prospects into the company.”
I took the letter in my hands, thanked the panel for showing me the mirror (argh) and came out. The whole office literally moved their eyes with my steps. AS soon as I was outside the horizon of the director’s cabin, my mates came running across.
“what?”, the first one asked.
“Bolega kuch?”, the other one scolded.
The two ladies who have been close friends, stood there with their mouth covered with their palms. They were all anticipating a bad outcome.
“Show-cause notice”, I said. And went back to my seat.
They all stood there in the balcony. Discussing on something. Hush hush. It was a small murmur across the office. Here it was, this was how it turned down to –
The best intern – the only one to be converted into a full time working job, star performer for 4 years and now – a show cause notice for negligence at work. I had apparently cost a company 8 projects with faulty quotations to the clients. It was all funny.
I packed up my bag and put up a mail to the HR regarding a half day. Everyone was aware of what was happening, so he permitted. Even the director. I drove back home. Opened the apartment. Went in and just lay flat on my mattress. Next to me was a small laminated photograph – just two hands fighting for a happy sponge ball. Me and Nishita.
It was a sunny day at office and there was this huge tub in the office filled with smilie yellow balls. It was a stress-release training session organised by the HR. It was lovely. We had to just jump into this huge tub and hit each other with the balls as much as possible. The first ball we both lay our hands on was this one in the picture. Somehow the photographer caught hold of this. And we got this pic.
Suddenly my phone rang.
“Praveen, come out now, we are going to rasta café. NOW!”,Faizi told me on phone.
“what the hell are you guys doing outta office now? Its half time!”, I replied in shock.
“Ey diplomat, shut up and come down. We are all here. We all broke a half day. We are going rasta café. Come out quick!”
“Uh, why do you guys do this!”
“Coming? Or block all our numbers forever, don’t talk to us ever again!”, Faizi threatened.
“okay, Shehenshaah jee, coming”.
I went down and only the middle seat in the rear was empty. Or I may say KEPT EMPTY.
“why the hell are you doing this man? Don’t you understand, she is gone? GONE! 3 years now! Do you realise? 3 years? She has almost forgot you and nearly all of us. She aint in touch with none of us and you here, the brightest employee of our department, is now here, sitting and getting a show cause notice. Give me a gun, I will better shoot you!”, Faizi was really angry.
Rashika too joined in. “what the hell are you wanting to do, tell us no? I don’t know why don’t you accept that being single is ok. Its not the worst of your life yet.”
“Who told I was a single. I am happily committed. Where are you guys coming from?”, I replied.
“I am still in relationship. I am committed. Not to her presence, but her absence. She is not here, but her absence is. I am in love with her absence and this is something which will stay forever.
Well, they were not wrong and neither was I. It is always true. I have first being in love with her and then with her absence. It is as beautiful and enticing as her presence. It’s the way matter and anti-matter exist.
We are just sharing our absence.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada.
The 11 o' clock diary 