Source of the image: https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/79727551/Lonely-Pablo
I have been off this blog for 2 days. Plan was to seize any more movements of thoughts on the keyboard till I could resist and here I am. The resistance lasted for approximately 50 hours and I could feel the coin in my throat while I forced myself away from writing. Maybe, the eagerness to put to one side my tryst with the blog made me react that way. The reaction, though, was not a fickle or momentary. The thought of pulling the curtain down was quite much in the mind since some time now and November 3rd, brought with it the perfect surge to let it happen. It just felt too special to be carried on.
Can ending things be as special as beginning them? Yes. Absolutely. But the world of sapiens has derived a faux theory which says, frown when its over. I ask, why? Infact smile when it is over. Go throw yourself a party. Pamper yourself. Spoil the brat within you. I spent some 1500 bucks for lunch on that day when I decided to stop writing anymore blogs. The end to a beautiful journey had to be a one with even more grandeur. Was my blogsite a human, it would have surely been happy at the site of me being happy at the farewell. I was just trying to challenge the general notions of a farewell on the November 3rd.
Now, this entire thing about me trying to stop writing the blog and then again coming back, might seem a riddle to many! Surely, it should. I would have questioned the same had i come across someone doing something similar. I can not think of a reason myself too. If I can explain, it can be similar to someone deciding to end his or her life, setting up the stool, standing on it, setting up the rope and then when the rope first touches your throat, removing it in a jiffy! What makes you do that? The love for life. The love to have those little pleasures in your life. The little pleasure of the smell of one flower on your table. The wagging tail of a puppy in your cycle stand. The delicious dahi over the papdi chat. The sight of a kid laughing and trying to eat a balloon. Such feelings call you back.
It gives you the power to face and fight and not give up. I won’t precisely say I gave up on my blog because it was a well thought decision. Not that the thought behind the decision has changed, but just that, another thought now, tells me to stand firm and face. Do things that your life wants to keep yourself happy and content. It is the thought of freshness now, the thought of genesis. That was the thought of farewell. Imagine the feeling of bewilderness in an unknown city, wet with sweat, walking on the streets having no idea where to go or what to do, it is that kind of a feeling that I underwent when I did not write the blog. Might feel like I am exaggerating a little, but believe me this is what I constantly felt.
“So, you’re going to keep it alive till?”, she asked.
“I don’t know! I mean how can I just promise how long it will go? It was supposed to be a medicine which I have started to like and I am proudly addicted to it now. I don’t really think I need to keep a milestone somewhere for it.”, I replied back to her while walking back from the class.
“But, isn’t the streak already broken? Have you not stopped once, for 2 days? Will you ever be able to say, have been writing continuously since XXX days now?”, she asked in curiosity again.
“Agree, but does my pausing once, take back from me the right to bounce back? To bounce back to maybe a better tomorrow? And what if the streak is now broken? It did start from #1 on 23rd July, assume it to be starting at #1 (Read #105) on the 6th of Novemeber 2019!”, I told her.
“It really doesn’t matter, unless the words keep healing my readers and myself. The day it stops to heal or the day I stop writing it in a good way or I forget writing one fine morning, that day, we can call it a day!”, I continued.
She quietly held me arms and came a little close while we kept walking towards the cafe. She spoke softly, ” but you broke the streak!”
I put my hands on her shoulder while we entered the cafe. “Dont worry, I will bounce back!”
Anyone out there who started something sometime back and paused due to some reason, do not hesitate to re-move towards it, resume, rework, relaunch! Life is too short to forget things you love. Keep trying! Life is fair if you try enough.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada!
The 11 o' clock diary 