Rant 102: Go!

“Should I?”

“Should I not?”

I pulled up the zip of my backpack, took a  sigh and stepped out of the door. At times, when that eerie feeling of uncertainty comes in your way, the only thing which is best to do, is to just keep going. None of us can evade luck. In either forms. None of us can project nor forecast. So it is absolutely ok to accept that eeriness in  your heart and go ahead.  Life will take a turn, the way it likes, beyond your sense of decision making and wit! 

I stood at the railway station for half an hour. Still not sure, what to do. Go or not go. What if I could simply stay back and rest for the weekend. Or maybe do a few things which might be of some use. Is it ok to have actually decided to go for this sudden travel? Thinking and overthinking actually just hurt my brain on a cozy Friday evening. So I decided to step in the railway station towards the ticket counter.

At the ticket counter, I witnessed what was a terrible crowd. Long line on a small station. Again that same question crept in my mind, “Should I?”. But I decided not to think too much and just stand and wait for my turn on the ticket counter. it took precisely 23 minutes before I could get the tickets done. Finally I had a ticket. I was at a place where the same amount of walking could lead me to the exit gate and the equal amount would lead to the platform. I decided to keep going. Finally I was there on the platform waiting for the train to arrive.

Some people like random travels and some do not. I fall in neither of the categories. I can switch to either categories based on the place of interest. I can make an absolutely random plan to a beautiful place, while I might even reject a well laid out plan to a off-mood place. It’s all on the topic, or the venue.

Here the entire confusion was whether it was right or wrong. And this made me anxious. Confused. Irritated. When things are beyond interesting vs boring and fall into the gamut of the wrong or the right, you do get into a vortex of confusions. You do fall into a zone which is difficult to overcome. Anyways, the train had arrived and I entered it, still thinking while I kept the step on the stairs. I put in my feet in the name of my venerable figures and set in.

I looked outside the door – the lights showed green. Who was this green for? the train or for me? I took that green for me. Stupid, it seems. But when you are low, when I am low, I try and look for fictional signs which can make me happy and encourage me to carry on. The train left.

I looked on the platform. I had left a luggage on the platform which I did not mind leaving it there. The baggage of confusion and anxiety. The baggage of the tussle between the yes and the no. The baggage of the good and the bad. Now that you are set to it, just sit back and relax. Let the things come to you as they are “destined” to be. Life will take a turn, the way it likes, beyond your sense of decision making and wit!