Rant 80: Move On!

“Hey, Listen to me once! Please!”, she cried in desperation.

He still hung up the call. It was too much for him, she said.

“So, now what?” I asked her. It was an hour since she sat in front of me and narrated all that happened in the last two days. She had gotten along with him in quite a short time and reached a zenith of feelings which is usually unheard of. Whatever she told me, seemed to be like a story of the stars. I kept asking her, are you sure you guys were into it? Was it not just affection or seminal attraction that brought you two together and she kept denying.

I was really confused by this time. I asked her one last time, “Why does he want to leave?”

“I am not sure, he says he cannot continue and that it is better for both of us that we part”

It was really confusing. Here was a girl who was my friend for the 21 years and was sitting infront of me telling how she broke down in love in the past 11 months. She was an upfront and a disciplined lady, who meant business most of the time. An excellent student, a brilliant basketball player and a wonderful mural-artist! She made mandala-sketches famous in our class way before Instagram made way for it. I had always known her as a no-nonsense hardcore medical aspirant. I’d never ever thought there would be a day when she will be sitting infront of me after sulking for weeks straight.

I went inside my small kitchen and got her a cup of cold coffee. I am not a big fan of cold coffee so I brought a cup of hot coffee for myself. I gave her the coffee which she readily held. She always loved cold coffee. I asked her whether she wants to go out in the nearby park for a walk. She refused.

“I just want to talk this shit out to you. I don’t know if this will make me any lighter but surely I will feel a little assured as someone else knows this too.”

“Yea no problem”, I replied back in assurance.

“What should I do now?”, she asked while she took the first sip of her coffee.

 I stood up, with the coffee in my hand, towards the window.

“Move on”, I said.

“you know what you’re saying?”, She replied in haste, “I have come here for you to help me solve this issue and you’re suggesting me to move on. How, do you think, will I be ever able to come out of his memories? Will it even be fair to the other person I will try to get along with?”

I was expecting this bombardment of questions from her. After all people who speak less, speak in paragraphs when they do! 😀

“Listen, will you forget him ever, and this is serious!”

“Never”

“Do you really love him a lot?”

“Still in doubt?”

“No! Not at all!”

“then?”, she gave me a quizzed look.

Our conversation went on for some 2 hours more and then she finally felt convinced enough to go back home. It was tough for me to convince her on what was better for her to do. She wanted to pull him back somehow and somehow make things work. Somehow!

Its difficult to let go of people. Always. When someone comes in and gives you a promising and a happy today, all you crave for is multiple “happy today’s” which effectively makes up for your entire future. All we think of is two people and a few circumstances. But life is truly beyond those two humans. Life is too complex. Some ignore and live while others cannot.Some of us tend to not cross that line of complexity and prefer to stay inside. Not because you are not a non-conformist, but because there are emotions and feelings of your closed ones. And you don’t always want to become an issue of worry for them. So you crush your feelings, say sorry to the universe you created and move on.

The last thing she asked before she went back was “What to do with the gifts I have? Throw them all? Burn them? I cannot throw them all and they will keep reminding me of him, all the time.”

I went inside, brought a small wooden box. Opened it up. It had two most common objects from our lives. She wondered what these were for?

“These are my memories. They remind me, that what I stood up for, was pious, true and pure. It was not my greed or lust or selfishness that pushed me back, but the world behind me that I care for and stand responsible for. That my affection was not an ounce false and that it wll never decrease. EVER! That I wont surely go back anytime sooner, but also that I always wish to have a space in my heart and mind. This is my small box of memories.”

She smiled. The usual smile she gave in lieue most of the sentences she never spoke.

I wished her goodnight and dropped her till her car.

Its not always important to move on and “leave the things behind”. When memories are pleasant and your feelings true, you can take a part of those memories and move on. It is a good feeling to sometimes relish your memories and think of the other person of how happy he or she is today. Of how satisfied they would be to see you where you are – a little jealous maybe!

I changed my dress and switched off the lights. I locked the small wooden box and kept it next to me on the bed table. It has been there since a really long time now and not many people know what this is for!

If you’re reading this, I want you to comment below, if moving on is better with memories/ without memories? Share your opinion below. I will be happy to see the opinions.

Always Ranting, Rantzaada.