I always mostly laughed upon people who were my parents age or a little younger than them, when I was a kid. I would have an entire class of students as an apparent close group of friends and there were these adults who would barely have 1 or 2 or atmost 3 people as their friend. They would visit each other’s houses frequently back then and would team up for any work – small to big.
20 years hence, I am close to where they were – adults. Being an adult is a difficult thing, if not the most difficult thing. The problem is when you become able enough to handle friends and people socially, relations start becoming mean. Friends turn to foes and chaps turn to anxious competitors, some on purpose and some with weird reasons.
In the past 4-5 years, I have seen a huge transfer of people in and out of my life. All thumbrules have failed, all the codes in my cheatsheet have expired and nothing now works on retaining friends or known people. Life is much complicated now and people do not stay anymore for reasons beyond profit. People have come in with full force and have gone out even faster.
Maybe there is no problem with this adult version of friendships, but there is an implicit weakness in me that makes me extremely vulnerable to such mechanisms. When people come in, I take a little time to settle down and come into a reasonable sync. But, Alas! People are way too quick with their ingress and egress. So almost every time, I am left aside in an incomplete mode still trying to concrete the findings of a ruined relation.
Probably this happens with many others too or maybe just with me. But all of this is discouraging. The more that happens, the more I am becoming numb towards these new entries in my life. People come in and I keep reminding myself that none of these are going to last- so be patient. Let them show up, stay and then pull back at their own will. In the end, I am just training myself to not to fall up to warm, friendly associations anymore.
Trying to become the crooked tree and not the straight one.