This is a continuation of the Rant 244 : The dilemma of the Lama – 1. Read the first part here.
He came out, in a towel and stood infront of the mirror that lay on the floor. A thin tall man in his 40s, ribs easily visible and the collar bones telling the preface of his inner trauma. He tried to locate a cut mark on his stomach towards the left. It was healing. He took out an ointment and applied it on the mark. He moved towards the laptop table and wore the shirt which was kept on the chair. He wore the shirt and sat on the chair.
He opened up the internet browser and checked his mail.
Can we have a video session at 9:45 pm?”
He looked at the clock, it was 9:37 pm. He went back to the mirror, combed his hair and tied up his shirt neatly. Then went to the other corner of the room and rolled a movable curtain backdrop behind the chair. All set up and tidy for the web-camera frame, he sat in front of the laptop. He put his hands to his face, rubbed it twice, kept his head down for a couple of seconds and then rose his head up in confidence. He opened the call application and dialled the person who requested a video call. While the call went through, he adjusted his collar and his buttons.
The call got connected.
“Hey Doc, how are you?”, the lady on the other side asked.
“Ey Thanks! I am fine. Just returned home.” He replied.
“Long day, uh?”
“Yeah! How you doing?” he asked in return.
“Well, good. What is the update on your medicines? Are you taking them up as prescribed?”, the lady on the other end asked.
“Yes, I am. I feel better. Its really been long since I was anxious. I feel much better since the last one week or so.” He explained her.
“That is great news. You’ve been doing great. Only if we had met earlier, you could’ve been perfect. Wonder how you’ve been living such a life since a long time. You counsel people outside to turn their lives happy and you yourself have been slowly pushed into this kind of life. I was really shocked to hear from you, your state.” She spoke as he listened to her teary eyed.
“Yea, Thanks! I am grateful to you for your help. It’s really been a great help.”
“So we will talk later then?”
“Yea sure! I need to go take rest too.” He replied.
The two ended the call. It was just an acknowledgement call he had to make to his supervisor doctor who was treating him for anxiety issues. He himself was a full-time psychologist and a teen-counselor. He attended several students, young attendees at his clinic every day 6 days a week. No one apart from this one doctor from whom he consulted online only, knew his state. He had met this lady online and since then was good friends with her. One day, he broke down infront of her on a video call, while he was drunk. He told her everything about how he felt and how his life had broken down bit by bit in the last 9 years. She too, was a mental health expert and she suggested him a few measures.
Later when he realized that he had spoken tad too much while he was drunk he tried to cover it up and stay away from the lady, but she kept asking regularly. Over the days, he had learnt the art of faking it up infront of her every time she would ask for a video conference. He knew he was decaying from within and it was beyond the scope of few medicines to take up his health rise. But the lady kept trying and he kept her false hopes alive. His walls, that lay dark behind the light that was kept lose on the table, had multiple inscriptions written on them, some verses and some sketches. This room, was the testament of his ailing mental health which he believed would soon meet a silent end.
To be continued..
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