Ever felt terrible when too many good things happen to you at one go and you suck at it because you really wanted to stay low-key just normal and this surge of happening is kind of disorienting you from what you thought you would make out of this day? How does it feel? Lucky? Overwhelming? Or just out of plan?
Indeed it is an out of plan thing for me. Ofcourse it does bring on a spike of excitement and joy, but then you also know that this has destroyed of what you had though to be an average relaxed day without any hulaboo of anyone or anything. That you would just lie by the edge and peep in to the past and see what was the course the most happening thing in your life took and where it has brought you up. But, well thanks to the new set of spiked up happiness, this opportune feeling is gone.
“Where are you now?”
“I have just boarded the metro and will go to the bus station.”, I replied.
“Are you serious? You’ve come here after so long and you are just going right now? Its not even 6, man!”, he kind of rebuked me with that question.
“Eh, I know it’s 6. I am just not feeling enough puffed up to roam around. I just want to get back to my place now and take rest. Had a really tiring day man!”.
“It’s fine. But I thought we would really meet up. It’s been long since we’d caught up”.
“Hmm, I will text you back once I reach my place”, I replied and kept the phone inside.
I probably cannot explain it but I really want to be back in that small room. Because that room brings me back to my senses. To the problems and the solutions that I need to seek on a daily basis. Typing in the dark and looking at the laptop screen when it’s the only lighted thing in the room is a different medittative feeling in itself.
It is like having a plain porridge when you have open options of having wonderful delicacies. But then there are some days where you simply want to have a plain porridge and that is it. No debating and no bargain on that.
While I unlock my room later than night to enter into my den, the things that I have left throughout the day keep hitting my head. Did I just lose an opportunity to network with people? Did I just miss an opportunity to be happy and jolly in a good company?
I think I just ensured that I be having a good time with myself and for today I believe, it is a good enough achievement.
Always Ranting, Rantzaada.