Rant 186 : I wish for a minute back

Meeting people is funny. Meeting new people is funnier. Meeting old friends, the funniest! When you meet a bunch of old friends, like really old friends and after a really long time, it mostly turns out to be funny. Even if you happen to stay in some kind of touch over the online networks. It is the weird transformations that make things funny and humorous. Remember leaving your school friend with a 56 kg body, with thin arms and a dried up face and then 12 years down the lane, meeting them again. All of them puffed up, mustaches and hair-do’s. Some even have hair colors on. Seems like life traded the experience with the color of our hair. 

It was more than 20 minutes that I was waiting for P1 (the first friend I am talking here). She was one of the group I spent my most times with. Certainly, my entry into the group was a selfish one, me been crushing over one of the group members back then, but we’d really been wonderful friends ever since. The fun part is when you meet, the story seems to play like a default “resume”. You tend to begin things from where you left. This is what differentiates friendship from love. 

Friendships falls back on old memories. Because these are the grounds on which the fresh relationships that will last for some more decades will resurface. Friends that meet up after a long time again do last a little longer than the ones you will be meeting often. Not a well-laid theorem, but an observation I have made over the years. 

But romantic relationships, if ever you get to meet them again, do their best to not touch the happenings of the past again. The effort is to try and not meet mentally. Not come across each other’s thoughts and do away with mundane questions like how are you and what’s up in life. While they ask this, all they are wishing within is that they have moved on and are happy with whoever and whatever they are now. Also, there is a slight content of a sigh from the one who was left abandoned, wishing what happened did never happen in the first place. While these feelings gush in and then the other one suddenly says, I am seeing this person since a few months now and then you become a little more stable with your thoughts. Sensing that the bleakest of chances are now gone, you try and engage in a much better form with the person. This sense of a “chance” with the one you were in love with once, makes you belittle yourself, finding a scope, a ray of hope. 

“Do you still think of her, why did you never try back?”, P2 and P1 asked. 

“I just don’t know man, I’d never actually thought of it.”

“She told she had felt bad for something you did and you never apologized and then she went away.”, P1 said. 

“What? What was it? I don’t know about it!” 

“She said something which you did pissed her off and she expected you to come and seek apology for it and then we just parted and then we never met. It all just fell apart.”

I felt as if something worthy was lost. That feeling of getting maybe two minutes to talk to someone again and that one question that you would ask them again. Just to clear off the things. 

The evening was very well spent with the folks. Lots of discussions. But one thing that kept moving in my mind was what was that went wrong. Was I always under a wrong impression about what had happened 12 years back? Would things have been a little different now, if that did not happen. Who knows! 

Maybe we got just a minute together again, so I could ask one question and answer one. 

What would be the one question you’d ask your lost friend/partner if they met you again? 

Always Ranting, Rantzaada.

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