Have you ever been an intern – had your seniors shouting on you and how worthless professionally and morally you were?
Have you ever been infront of your parents and relatives and heard about how embarassed they were to have you in their family?
Have you ever been in a situation when your loved one says, I wish we’d never met and moves on leaving you gasping for breath and trying to understand what just happened?
Must’ve happened! Either of the 3, must have happened.
What is our first reaction usually – retaliate? Listen and let it go?
Well, the point is – it never goes! In the worst case, if you retaliate it begins a chain of unpleasant reactions and actions and it becomes a thing you’d love to forget.
Psychologists across the world term this as the Domino Theory, wherein one action has mutliple and cumulative reactions and leads to effects which was not initially thought off. Most battles that have gone down the history have been a testimony to this Domino theory. Be it little family issues, petty peer quarrels, social conflicts, major civil unrest or global wars, all begin with something really ignorable and ultimately turns out to be way more evil than thought.
Now coming back to an individual level. Today’s life is competitive. Very very competitive. With everyone trying to pull you down – mentally, professionally, physically and socially. No one gives you that extra respite to let you settle down for a while and think of yourself. You are kept on the edge – all the time. Little precautionary error and there goes your dream and career and life and what not. Should we really consider the effects of Domino theory or just hit back with double response to the vice done to you by others?
Let’s consider an example. You are a traveler with 20kg of travel load. You have to travel a distance of 200 km in 5 days. Now, there are multiple smaller roads that diverge/converge to your main path. On every path, you see one person who flags you and dares you do things which incite you. What do you do? Take that road and run after him, trying to hit him back with double response? Congratulations, you have just missed 30 minutes out of the total time you had achieve your target in.
What if that person is on your road and actually is an impediment in your own target? Legit to hit and eliminate, seems right? No. You will still be missing that valuable time of yours, which probably throws you out of your path of success.
This is where, killing the dominos effect comes in. IF AT ALL, seems feasible – Forgive and Let go. Let go of the person who did that thing to you. Let go of the boss who scolded you without any purpose. Maybe it was just her frustration for someone else and you simply became the first one to be listening to her. Let’s learn to forgive and let go. It is not at all easy, though. I write it here and I am myself usually way out of control to forgive and let go. But yes, I do try and apply it most of the times and I really wish to improve even further.
So, the next time you are at the parlour and something goes wrong by the staff or the waiter serves a wrong order, relax. Give her a smile. Tell her it’s ok. Tell her she does not need to worry. It happens at everyone’s workplace. No big deal about it. Do not threaten to cut her pay. It will just initiate a chain of reactions and ultimately some one will face the burn of your reactions, which could have been avoided at the first place.
Just try it. It will make you happy. It will make the person who made a mistake happy. It will make the others in the surroundings feel happy.
And ofcourse, when things really go out of control, once in a while, just to keep things in order, go ahead and scare people who did it. But rarest of the rare cases. In all other cases, Forgive and let go.
If you have instances where you forgave someone and moved on share in the comments. Give your feedback and share the rant with your friends. 🙂
Always Ranting, Rantzaada.